natural woman

This is a photo I found somewhere in the vastness that is The Internet. I don't remember where I found it, and I feel like I'm going to get hollered at by the Blog police for stealing images. So, I'm sorry to whoever I am not thanking for letting me use this as inspiration for the house.

But I am using it because it perfectly shows the colors and materials that I'm feeling. I love the naturalness of the cotton plant, wood, leather and sticks mixed with the glass and chrome. And the colors- different shades of whites and browns with little doses of fairly natural colors throughout. If I could add a beatup old flatweave ethnic rug on the floor I would move right in.

I also came across this list of indoor plants that naturally purify the air (when you click the link, select 'Air purifying plants' on the left). I have written about my problems that I thought were from allergies before. Well, I talked to Dr. Sun about it and he thinks that it may just be symptoms from the chemo itself and that it may not be allergies at all. He also said that he has heard of people's allergies getting better after taking chemo. I guess once your body is subjected to this level of attack, things like pet dander aren't even a blip on the radar. Either way, there are so many polluntants that we live with in our homes every day and constantly breath in, so I'm excited to incorporate some of these plants into the new house.

Speaking of the new house, I settle tomorrow at 9AM!!!! I'm really excited and nervous and happy that it's finally here. I can't believe I'm going to do this all on my own (without my mom.. ha!) and it makes me feel a little like I'm trying to get into a bar with a fake ID or something. I don't know why, I guess I forget that I am, in fact, a grownup and have been for some time. I still feel like such a girl! Probably also it has to do with the fact that my mom took such good care of everything for me for so long, ever since I got sick, so now I'm just getting used to taking care of myself again.

Anyway, chemo came and went on Tuesday and was pretty uneventful. My white and red counts were high, but this time my platelets were low. Weird, they have never been anything other than normal before. But Millie said they were still high enough to treat and that it was totally normal considering the beating my body takes every week. There is nothing I can do other than wait for them to go back up, and since I have next week off I'm sure everything will be fine for the next round. Dr. Sun had more encouraging words; he told me that it's clear to him that my body is continuing to grow stronger even while being subjected to such a tough chemo regimen, and that he can see a total shift in me from the beginning of treatment. He said (and I've heard this from others) that I look healthier in the face than I did on the first day I walked into his office and that I've matured so much and changed so much that it's nothing but positive. It really means everything to me when he says things like this. For anyone who has never met my oncologist, he is not one to give positive feedback lightly. I think in his line of work it isn't always the smartest or safest to give anything other than statistics. SO, it's great to hear these words from someone who is 0% bullshit.

I'm still trying to work on the whole music thing. I've been told that I can't share music that is bought from Itunes, because it's their form of control or whatever- fine. Annoying but fine. Then I have so much music on my ipod that I want to share, but I can't put it back on my itunes to share. FINE. so now I'm going thru old cd's and slowly putting them on the computer. It's fun because I found some beatiful music that I haven't listened to in forever, but sad because I took HORRIBLE care of my cd's and now half of them are scratched and ruined. Boo. So, no song for today, but maybe tomorrow.

Goodnight, and keep your fingers crossed for me for a smooth settlement tomorrow!
xo- Erin