natural woman

This is a photo I found somewhere in the vastness that is The Internet. I don't remember where I found it, and I feel like I'm going to get hollered at by the Blog police for stealing images. So, I'm sorry to whoever I am not thanking for letting me use this as inspiration for the house.

But I am using it because it perfectly shows the colors and materials that I'm feeling. I love the naturalness of the cotton plant, wood, leather and sticks mixed with the glass and chrome. And the colors- different shades of whites and browns with little doses of fairly natural colors throughout. If I could add a beatup old flatweave ethnic rug on the floor I would move right in.

I also came across this list of indoor plants that naturally purify the air (when you click the link, select 'Air purifying plants' on the left). I have written about my problems that I thought were from allergies before. Well, I talked to Dr. Sun about it and he thinks that it may just be symptoms from the chemo itself and that it may not be allergies at all. He also said that he has heard of people's allergies getting better after taking chemo. I guess once your body is subjected to this level of attack, things like pet dander aren't even a blip on the radar. Either way, there are so many polluntants that we live with in our homes every day and constantly breath in, so I'm excited to incorporate some of these plants into the new house.

Speaking of the new house, I settle tomorrow at 9AM!!!! I'm really excited and nervous and happy that it's finally here. I can't believe I'm going to do this all on my own (without my mom.. ha!) and it makes me feel a little like I'm trying to get into a bar with a fake ID or something. I don't know why, I guess I forget that I am, in fact, a grownup and have been for some time. I still feel like such a girl! Probably also it has to do with the fact that my mom took such good care of everything for me for so long, ever since I got sick, so now I'm just getting used to taking care of myself again.

Anyway, chemo came and went on Tuesday and was pretty uneventful. My white and red counts were high, but this time my platelets were low. Weird, they have never been anything other than normal before. But Millie said they were still high enough to treat and that it was totally normal considering the beating my body takes every week. There is nothing I can do other than wait for them to go back up, and since I have next week off I'm sure everything will be fine for the next round. Dr. Sun had more encouraging words; he told me that it's clear to him that my body is continuing to grow stronger even while being subjected to such a tough chemo regimen, and that he can see a total shift in me from the beginning of treatment. He said (and I've heard this from others) that I look healthier in the face than I did on the first day I walked into his office and that I've matured so much and changed so much that it's nothing but positive. It really means everything to me when he says things like this. For anyone who has never met my oncologist, he is not one to give positive feedback lightly. I think in his line of work it isn't always the smartest or safest to give anything other than statistics. SO, it's great to hear these words from someone who is 0% bullshit.

I'm still trying to work on the whole music thing. I've been told that I can't share music that is bought from Itunes, because it's their form of control or whatever- fine. Annoying but fine. Then I have so much music on my ipod that I want to share, but I can't put it back on my itunes to share. FINE. so now I'm going thru old cd's and slowly putting them on the computer. It's fun because I found some beatiful music that I haven't listened to in forever, but sad because I took HORRIBLE care of my cd's and now half of them are scratched and ruined. Boo. So, no song for today, but maybe tomorrow.

Goodnight, and keep your fingers crossed for me for a smooth settlement tomorrow!
xo- Erin

green is the new black

check this out!

I am totally building this in my backyard. Well.. I'm going to acquire the parts and then hopefully bribe my mom into helping me build this..

ugh.

This is what my kitchen sink looks like. Ever since I found out that I'm going to have a dishwasher in the new house, it has been even harder than usual to make myself handwash them here on Almond. I think I honestly would just not do them anymore, except that I don't have enough dishes or counter space to last me until I move. I don't mind cleaning, I love doing laundry, but dirty dishes are my arch nemesis. Especially when I'm sick and tired, the last thing I want to do is DISHES. Paul and I are getting sushi tonight, so I don't have to worry about the fact that I don't have any clean dishes to eat off of for one more day.

Umm, so the music thing- ahhh!!! Can anyone explain to me why some songs work and others don't? The song I was trying to play yesterday is called A-Punk by Vampire Weekend. I bought the album off of Itunes, and I guess whatever format it's in won't allow me to share it. But if I put up a song from my Itunes library that is from one of my old CD's, it shares fine. Can someone, anyone, please please help me with this? I tried to figure it out last night but got too frustrated. I either need to allow something, or change the file type, but I have no idea further than that.

The Oscar's were good, I thought Jon Stewart did a great job and his jokes were pretty hilarious. I really like his sense of humor. Apparently he only had 9 days to prepare with his writers because of the strike, but he really pulled it off. The dresses were MEH. Beautiful and safe, which to me can be really boring. I swear I saw the same red one shouldered dress in 5 different versions. I don't even have a favorite, they were all just fine. I don't know what was wrong with me though, I kept getting all teary every time someone won. I get so proud and happy for them, like I know them or something. I am delusional. Marion Cotillard won for La vie en Rose, and she gave such a sweet and heartfelt acceptance speech- I loved it. Plus she is so gorgeous, and I kind of loved and hated her dress at the same time. She was probably the most out of the box actress of the whole night, but of course she is French. Anyway, my predictions were pretty right on, I think I only missed one.

I have a gazillion things to do today and chemo tomorrow at 9am. Also, I am listening to the news right now, and I just heard that there was a teenage boy that was shot on his 16th birthday, over a snowball fight. Apparently he threw a snowball at a neighbor by accident and the man then went home and got his gun and came back and shot him in the head. WTF is wrong with people??? It makes me sick to my stomach.

Happy Monday, right?

sunday = funday

This is my new favorite song, and perfectly fitting for my mood today..

It's bright and sunny out and tonight is the BEST night on television..the Academy Awards! Yeay, I look forward to this stupid show all year, I don't know why. And this year I've seen a ton of the movies, so I'm super excited to see who wins what. Here are a few of my predictions:

Best lead actor- Daniel Day Lewis, There will be blood
Best supporting actor- Javier Bardem, No country for old men (duh, he was amazing)
Best lead actress- either Julie Christie, Away from her or Marion Cotillard, La vie en rose
Best supporting actress- it might go to Amy Ryan, Gone baby gone, but I hope it goes to Cate Blanchett for Im not there (best actress ever)
Best Picture- Im going to go for No Country...

Not sure if Angelina and her big baby belly will be there, but I can't wait to see some of the dresses. It better not be a snoozefest like last year!

Anyway, last night I got fancy (aka new fake (human!) hair and party dress) for a birthday party at the lovely Miss Erin S's apartment. There are a few pics below, but my camera really kind of sucks flash-wise. It's either too bright with the flash, or too dark without. Do camera's come with a half-flash? Different flash options? I have no idea, but this is constantly driving me crazy.

me & kiley, gemini twins

Miss Erin, birthday girl extraordinaire

this is champagne with an edible Hibiscus flower in it. we don't mess around.

The party was so much fun, and it felt great to be out in real life again. Erin and David have the most amazing apartment 26 floors above the city with views for miles and impeccable taste. I like to just sit up there and look around at everything, it's really a great space. Although I'm sure their NEW space will be even more gorgeous, and it's going to be just a few blocks from ME! Yeay- Erin and David are buying in Fishtown, and literally just 2 min walk away!! I love this neighborhood and the fact that it keeps filling up with people I love. It's going to be a great spring and summer.

Ok, I have to go. Abby is hollering at me to get ready.. xo.

mess with the bull...

Im already being asked why I haven't put up a 'song of the day' yet today. I have been thinking about it, as I do on most days (who doesn't think about their theme music on a daily basis?), but I've been running around today and it's already changed about 5 times. But the theme has been consistent thru all of the songs, and it really does reflect the kind of day I had today. Today's theme song is by Jane's Addiction, from the album Ritual de la Habitual, which came out in 1990. Check it out here:



Listening to this CD brings back SO many memories of pre-teen early 90's angst. Worshiping my older cousins for turning me on to bands like this and The Cure, as well as blue eyeliner and 'the wave'. Flannel shirts and cut off Levi's. Feeling very oppressed by 'The Man', aka my mom. If I had a scanner I would totally put up a few pictures, I was the epitome. Im actually looking at the CD now, and it even has wax drips on the cover from a burning candle- Classic!

Anyway, you may ask how that relates at all to my day, and I'll tell you. There's kind of a rumble going on about the new house. I had the home inspection and made an agreement with the seller on what was found, but then I had to go back in to the house to complete the radon portion of the inspection, and on that day it was raining and there was water coming in from the ceiling in my dining room! Needless to say, this was a shock to me. I knew I needed certain things fixed, but this was a new problem that came up after the inspection was agreed upon, and long story short is that we are going to work it out, but the contractor and the realtor really got into it today and of course I'm right in the middle of every battle.

So it was just a lot of friction and then later I was coming back to my car in the city and I see the Phila Parking Authority writing me a ticket. I hollered from across the street and he looked up and shook his head and said- NOPE- and just kept chewing his gum and writing. I got a $41 ticket for being 5 minutes late (and he completely had the power to take it back if I stopped him while he was in the middle of writing it). But he refused, choosing instead to snap his gum in my face and give me the f*cking ticket. I seriously considered pulling out the C card, but I don't even know if he would have believed me since I was all fired up and feisty. I don't think I looked very sick at the moment, just crazy. So instead I screamed at him that he was an asshole and took the ticket and got in my car. Gahh! I wonder how many times a day that guy gets called an asshole, anyway. It's pretty much the worst job in Philadelphia.

So, it just felt like that kind of mood... kind of like- everyone else needs to get out of my face! But not in a serious way, not tragically- just dramatically.

But my day is about to get so much brighter since there is a new episode of LOST on tonight and I'm so excited, I just can't hide it... I'm about to lose control and I think I like it (name that tune). Plus settlement is 1 week from today and Charlie is asleep in my lap and Boss asleep at my feet and so really, life is pretty damn good right in this moment.

I'm going to search the vast reaches of the Internets now for a new couch. Sigh..

testing, testing...

I'm trying to add a music player, can you see this? If you can, take a listen... I decided to start my TinyMuse Theme Music with one of my definite top 5 favorite songs of all time. It's weird, because I don't even love other Marshall Tucker Band stuff, but this song is just so perfect. And it's not even really about the lyrics, I just love the flute with the guitar and the way they get all ramped up and then mellow and and then jam out again.. I think you just click on 'Download' to listen. yeay!

babes

I promised to post pics of the boys from last weekend , see why I love them so?

handsome devil #1- xander

handsome devil #2 (rowan) with beautiful display model

previously mentioned devil #2 in beautiful model's hair hider

no boogs!

the boys- daddy, xander, charlie

no autographs, please

storytime with devil #1

mommy laughing at daddy snoring

best mommy and her best big boy

pappy and rowan

Now we just need a girl so I can completely FREAK OUT. Today is an okay day.. I really wanted to get out and do a thing or two, but I felt pretty sick this morning and then it started doing this snow thing so I made french fries instead. I was having a craving for ketchup.

Settlement on my house is next Thursday, and I haven't said too much about it only because I won't feel completely at ease until I have the keys in my hand. But believe me, I spend all time not obsessing over my nephews, wigs, or cancer completely obsessed with the house. Here, I'll post my most current bedroom inspiration:

no, scratch that. I can't. I don't have it saved the right way and it's too hard for my braindead brain to figure out right now. But I can say that I'm really drawn to making everything white, clean, fresh, new. I want good lighting and open spaces. And then worn in, natural, easy furniture and accessories. Ohhh, I get so excited thinking about it! And after 2/28 I'm pretty sure I'll be telling you all more than you ever wanted to know about the digs, so I'll stop here. Oh, also one more thing- I'm on the search for the perfect sectional sofa. Could be vintage, could be new, but it must be big and comfy (but have clean lines) and NOT microfiber (I hate it)..any good sites that you can recommend?

chemo and head shaving

So, after talking to my mom and reading back on my post from the other night, I realized that I should have added a few thoughts in. One being that I didn’t intend to write that post as a fingerpointer. What I was trying to say is that we ALL have those self protection mechanisms and we ALL tell ourselves what we need to believe in order to not live in fear. Before I got sick, I was probably the worst with this habit. So, I just didn’t want to put it out there like I was a big judger and you all don’t have it figured out. NONE of us have it figured out.

Anyway, yesterday was chemo day, and all and all- it wasn't so bad. We talked again about ending treatment. I told them that I’m scared but looking forward to it at the same time. He said that if at any time my body stops cooperating and it becomes detrimental, we will end treatment immediately. But for now my body is responding so well that he thinks we should just ‘buy the extra insurance’. I will have another scan in the beginning of April, and if that goes well I will probably continue treatment thru the month and stop either right before May or possibly continue on with one more cycle in May. I would really prefer to stop in April so that I have at least a little time to recoup before Meg’s wedding in Jamaica and then Abby’s wedding the following weekend. But I also know that it’s not really within my control and whatever is going to happen will happen.

So I won’t think on it too much. Instead I’ll obsess about wigs, since it’s getting to be about that time folks. I wore one out for the first time on Monday to have lunch with Ashley and then again I wore it to chemo. Jed took a picture with my phone:

My phone takes really terrible pictures, and even though I look like The Girl Without a Face, you can get the idea of the hair. It's actually long but I had it pulled up in a bun. I have several wigs here that I'm going to play around with, but I still am in search of the perfect look. I have gotten the scoop on a few good places to go in the city, so if I feel well enough this week I'm going out on the hunt. I have a party to go to this weekend that I'm getting fancy for, so I think that calls for a new look.

So, back to my appt, my white cells are high, thanks to the neupogen shots, and my hemoglobin was at a 9.7. They like to see it at least 10, so they gave me a shot to boost that in the same way that the neupogen boosts the white cells. I also got another transfusion done, just one bag of blood. When Millie was examining me, she could feel my heart kind of hammering away (I could feel it too), so the fresh blood really helped. I feel so much better today.

Again, I am just fascinated at the way we can trick the human body into believing it is healthy. Poisonous chemicals produced in a lab are breaking down my body in an attempt to kill the cancerous cells, while other lab-produced agents are injected back into me to keep the non-cancerous cells up and running, and then someone else's blood is put into me to trick my ticker into running smoothly. It is just amazing. I always donated blood in the past when I could, but I never really felt the direct connection.. I just knew it was a 'good' thing to do. But now, because of someone else's time and generosity I am able to live a better, and probably longer, life. It makes me so grateful.

After we got home from chemo I decided that I had had enough of this patchy hair, so Jed shaved it for me. It's not shaved bald, but this really helps to hide how thin it's gotten. Check it out-

This is Jed trying to convince Abby to let him buzz off just one lock of her hair. I have a feeling this conversation has happened more than once. Abby won, btw.

A combination of Ativan and pot served two fold. No nausea and no fear.

The artist and his muse.

water break.

Both Jed and Ab agreed that I looked like Jed's dad from behind. Sorry Rob!

There are those ears. Hi guys.

Well I can't believe I just posted that picture of me because it's kind of scary, but you see how you look after a long day of hospital and chemo and exhaustion. Shortly after this I was in bed asleep.

people are strange, when you're a stranger

this is my Dad... I love this picture.

This weekend I went to visit my father in the country. He's a photographer, and the above is of him, playing in the woods with his trees and his camera. You can check out his beautiful website right here. On Sunday Jess + boys (all 3) came to visit and that was just FANTASTIC since I haven't seen those guys since Christmas. It was such a good day, I swear I could just sit and stare at those babies and watch them grow. They are the most entertaining little beings in the world. Although I think I'm bordering on becoming Crazy Aunt Erin... at one point I realized I was hugging Xander so hard and telling him over and over in his little baby ear how much I loved him, that it was probably freaking him out. Either that or I physically damaged his tiny three year old body from all that squeezing. Ugh, I don't know I just love them so much that I never want to let go. Anyway, I'll put pics up soon.. I'm waiting to have them emailed from Jess.

On Saturday afternoon, Dad and I went to the reception of a gallery opening of a local photographer that he knows. The photographs were beautiful and there were a ton of people out to support him. Everyone was drinking wine and eating and talking. I love being in situations like that because you can overhear the most amazing conversations, and as everyone knows I love, love, love a good scoop. I can't help it, people are so strange and the way they think can be so different from the way I think.. I just love to get these little snippets on their lives and then try to figure out what makes them tick. It's like people watching- another of my favorite hobbies.

So, I overhear this woman talking about how she's trying to quit smoking and it's so hard, etc. etc. She then goes on to say that her father died from cancer and she knows she should quit but blah blah blah. Someone asked her if she was afraid that if she didn't quit she would get sick like her father. She said-I am NOTHING like him, he just sat around all the time and didn't watch what he ate and never exercised and I'm a mover- always on the move! I couldn't believe what I was overhearing; in essence, she was blaming her father for getting cancer and at the same time proclaiming how even though she purposefully inhales known carcinogens into her lungs every single day she wasn't going to share the same fate as her father because she was a 'mover'.

At first I was pissed and had to just walk away. People with cancer really are so stereotyped. Unless it's leukemia, it's like people automatically assume that you somehow brought it on yourself. That in some way you 'didn't take care of yourself' enough and because of that you caught cancer. And therefore it's really all your fault.

But really, I've thought about this all weekend long and the whole way home today, and it doesn't even make me mad anymore. It's a defense mechanism. People are scared of things that are not within their control, and cancer is one of the biggest not-in-control things that you can have happen to you. So, to ease that fear, they try to rationalize it and how it won't happen to them by basically blaming the people who did get sick for something that they were doing wrong. That, of course, these people do NOT do. I mean, think about it, people say this kind of stuff all the time. 'Oh, well yes but she did such and such, or didn't do this and that, or really should have xyz'd more'. Shit, if that was the case every single person who doesn't have access to an all-organic diet and stress free yogi life would be dead and gone from stage IV self inflicted cancer ten years ago!

It really doesn't make me mad.. I think it's so interesting to be able to hear this from an inside/outside perspective. She had no idea I was listening or that I was sick or even who I was. I sometimes feel like everything that is said around me is subconsciously edited because of my cancer, so in a way I liked that I could hear something so clearly un-thoughtout com out of her mouth. It also makes me realize the ability of human beings to self protect in such a way that you don't even realize you're doing it. We are tricky creatures.

Anyway, enough out of me for tonight. I guess I'm trying to get it all out since I have chemo again tomorrow. Boo on that.

Oh, does anyone know how to add music to this blog? I would love to be able to add a song to my posts, something to go with my mood. Like my own personal theme music! Help?

Where were you one week ago?

Because I was here, and it was amazing. Here are pics from our last day and night in Cabo..

Horses on the beach

View of Villa La Estancia from the ocean

Taking a trip around 'Lands End'

Private yachts in the marina...pretty amazing

Homemade salsa made fresh at our table

Time to go..

Goodbye Cabo, I love you!

Now I'm back on Almond Street, trying hard not to feel so sick and hopefully get it together enough today to get down to Chinatown for some acupuncture. Tomorrow morning I'm taking the boys for a visit to the country- we're going to visit Dad in Sheperdstown for the weekend. Jess and her boys are coming for the day on Sunday, and then I'm back on Monday to begin the cycle again on Tuesday. Ugh, is it May yet?

chemo day

Well, I'm home from Cabo and back in the real world of Almond Street in February. This isn't much different than Almond street in any other month, except that the trash on the street is covered by a layer of snow. It almost makes it charming, but it doesn't quite get there and I'm more excited than ever to live on my new CLEAN and sunny street.

I'll post more about Cabo when I'm feeling better, but today was chemo so I'm pretty beat. Roxy drove up last night from Baltimore and took me to my appt. I just realized while I was sitting here that I spent the past week with my two oldest friends- my sister and then Roxy. It feels so good to spend time with people that have known you forever, and totally get you, and love you either because of or sometimes in spite of that! And then AbbyMaxx came over to visit this afternoon and we all spent a few hours together while I was getting infused. Roxy got into the hospital bed with me and Ab brought her pizza and me soup and we just chilled. I like to bring the party to me, right Ab?

It was actually a great appointment, and Dr. Sun was super positive. In fact I have never heard him be more positive, or at least not in a long time. His exact words were that I was doing great and that this was just for insurance and that it was better safe than sorry. My white cell count was a little low, but I had been off of the Neopogen (or Neulasta, I always forget which one it is) shots for a week so it makes sense, and my hemoglobin level (red blood cells) and platelet count were high, so my overall level was high enough for treatment. I also gained 3 pounds since last treatment- YEAY!!!!!!!!!!!! I know it has to do with all of the amazing Mexican and seafood I ate in Cabo, plus all of the Pina Coladas. I had a constant stomach ache at the end of every day, but it was so worth.

Even though it was a good appt today, it's pretty scary for me to talk about the end of my treatment with Dr. Sun (currently slated for beginning of May) when just a month ago I had "experts" telling me that I have a year to live. This whole cancer trip has been excruciatingly painful at times physically, but if you took that and multiplied it by a million- that might come close to describing how emotionally painful it can be. I know that I am not a statistic and etc, etc, etc- but you try taking that kind of diagnosis in stride. It really screwed me up in the head for a few weeks. But the truth is, nobody knows. NOBODY KNOWS. People die every day; good people, bad people, strong people, weak people. I could die in a car accident tomorrow and not die from cancer at all! I read an online EC listserve, and there are people on there literally every day living with Stage IV esophageal cancer and beating the odds. Surviving for years and years. Of course there are people on there who die too, but this cancer is really just a small mimic of what happens in the rest of the world on other levels... people die, beat odds, do incredible things, suffer fallbacks, every day.

Anyway, my point is that I had a rough few weeks trying to process everything and I finally realized that I can't live my life like that. There are things about living that are totally scary, but so many more that are amazing, wonderful, and 100% worth it. And when I heard Dr. Sun talking to me today, I felt happy and hopeful but then instantly afraid of those feelings (what can I say, I'm working on it!). I keep saying that I want to stay on chemo forever to keep the cancer at bay. But that's not really true. I want to finish chemo and move on and get back into the rest of the world, scary and not.

xo

Hola

We're still in Cabo having an amazing time, but coming home tomorrow. Here are some pics so far:

our room

our beach

the pool

this is my 'not getting a tan' pool outfit.

This is Ramone. He thinks he's my Mexican boyfriend.
Aye carumba!


Oh, Cabo.

last night at The Office.

dinner at Edith's

Everyone in Cabo loves Jess. These boys REALLY love Jess.

Ok, that's it for now. Jess is having a massage and then we're going into town to do some shopping. See you soon..xo

i hate packing.

This morning I got a few things out of the basement for Cabo.

Now I need to wash everything and pack. Ugh- PACK. I hate that word. I don't mind doing the laundry, in fact I kind of love it. There's something about sorting and cleaning and washing things carefully that is therapeutic and soothing to me. But then afterwards I have to figure out what to bring and plan and not forget, and all of that is annoying and stressful to me. I think I'll do it later.

First I'm going to Brooklyn with Ashley. It's the perfect day for a little shopping! Then I need to get home in time to try and not mess up my moms directions for her 7-layer dip so I can bring it to Superbowl Sunday at Abby/Jeds.

I feel pretty strong, health-wise. I just gave myself the third Neulasta shot last night, so my immune system should be healthy and strong for Mexico. I'm a little nervous, only because I've never been this far away from my oncologist in the middle of my treatment. But he thinks I'm doing great and doesn't have any concern about the trip, and he told me to just call if I need anything. I'll be fine, right? Plus this could actually be looked at as an exercise in gaining weight. I'll be on the Pina colada diet for 5 days, how could I not put on a few lbs? This is good, and I'll be fine. Right?

who's the boss now?

Charlie just peed on Boss's head. You might ask- wait..what? how? why? But really, Boss should know by now that he can't mess with Charlie when he has a work in progress. It wasn't really Charlie's intention to pee on him; he is just a machine and feels the need to alert every square inch of Fishtown of his neighborhood (and eventual world) domination. And Boss's face just happened to get in Charlie's way. The worst part is that all I did was laugh so hard and neither of them seemed to notice or care..gross..

I feel MUCH better today and am heading out to ReStore, looking for inspiration for the new house, plus an old banister or two. Later I'm going to see Juno with Lyd and Abby. I heard it's great and can't believe I haven't seen it yet.

The pic above is of the boys in their favorite chair in the house (notice how it's ripped to shreds from bulldog toenails) this morning. They like to sit there and keep an eye on Almond Street and haze the mailman as he walks by.

rain, rain, go away

Sorry that this picture is so dark and shadowy, but it's a dark and shadowy kind of day. This is my Cabo bathing suit hanging in the 'pink room' (aka my closet) reminding me that sunshine and sand are only 4 days away. I really need to go into my basement and unpack some summer clothes so that I have something else to wear in Mexico besides this suit, but I haven't moved very far from the couch today so that will probably have to wait.

Last night's LOST was good but not great. I know other people who thought it was great, but I wanted more! I think those writers are so smart, and sometimes the episodes are so good that you don't want them to end. But other times they just don't quite get there, and that's how I felt about last night. Still, I'm excited about the Oceanic 6 plotline..

Ugh I'm so bored! I don't feel good and it's so crappy out, but I still feel stir crazy from not leaving the house all day. What can I do that doesn't involve going anywhere or using too many brain cells or moving too much, but is still fun??